majorly rewritten chandelier scene
by L.M.T.G
Summary: quite possibly the weirdest thing from me yet,completely oocy deliciousness. chandy the chandelier is a character! raoul is a kiss demon...and god knows what else...


A/n: Has anyone done this before? I haven't seen it..anyway,dun own a thing. *jumps and points*HA! now they can't sue me! ^.^ Yay! Btw,for those reading Phantom Popstars or Erik's Little Sister, I swear I have more coming, I've just been swamped the whole 12 hrs a day I'm online. There will be more!  
  
*Chandelier,from Carlotta the Croaking Chick*  
  
Carlotta: *croak croak croak*-he makes me laugh,hahahahaha!  
  
Christine: *blinks* Hey! You're supposed to keep croaking!  
  
Erik: *snorts and mutters from inside the angel* You're not supposed to be a lying little...  
  
Carlotta: *smacks Christine* Shut up! This is MY show! They all are! YOU SUCK!  
  
Christine: *cries,looks up at the managers* I can't keep doing this! My self esteem is zero!  
  
Audience: *thinking 'it matches your i.q?'*  
  
Andre: It's okay...run off stage.  
  
Christine: *grins* Okitay! *runs off*  
  
Raoul: *stands up* Kay,I'm gonna follow her.  
  
Firmin: You are?  
  
Andre: *pulls him down* I think not...(A/n: I know they're sitting in opposite boxes in the play. I like'em better like this though.)  
  
Raoul: *blinks* ...huh?  
  
Andre: *cuddles him* You're stayin' with us big boy.  
  
Raoul: *goes wide eyed and screams* I knew I saw someone watching me pee!  
  
Firmin: *giggles,suddenly stares off into space* Noone ever wonders about my name...  
  
Andrew: *giggles too* I don't gotta wonder...*winks*  
  
Carlotta: *shudders* I'm not gonna croak anymore...I'm just gonna puke...  
  
Piangi: Yeah...wanna test our gag reflex?  
  
Carlotta: Ok. You look more like a page boy anyway.  
  
Meg: *thinking 'isn't he a bit big to be a "boy"?'*  
  
Raoul: *screams and jumps off the box..unfortunatly..he's ok. He runs off to find Christine*  
  
Christine: *is on the roof,smoochy sounds come from below them* Sing,La,Singalingaling!  
  
Raoul: *blinks* What are you doing? This is supposed to be the one scene we pledge our love for each other and you make the biggest mistake of your life!  
  
Christine: *blinks back at him*..Why?  
  
Raoul: *points at Mr. I think Antonio Banderas would be PERFECT for Erik because I- oh wait,who's Erik again? off stage* Because he says so.  
  
Christine: Kay.  
  
Raoul & Christine: *sing a bunch of crap about how much they REALLY TRULY love one another,how much Christine is a manipulative little..*cough*..and head back downstage*  
  
Erik: Christine...*growls,heart shattered,feeling used* You sorry little...  
  
Raoul: *plays tonsil hockey with Christine*  
  
Christine: *glomps Raoul*  
  
Erik: ...ew...really...she doesn't even know where the Fop has been...  
  
Christine: *begins to turn blue*  
  
Raoul: *proceeds*  
  
Christine: *squirms,trying to breath,waving her arms frantically*  
  
Raoul: *continues to liplock her*  
  
Christine: *finally passes out*  
  
Raoul: *sucks back and grins wide as he finally lets the poor woman breath* YEAH! No courtsean can do it THAT good! Heh...Leroux said I was a virgin...He dun know me too well,do he?  
  
Meg: *thinking 'He dun know me too well neither...'*  
  
Christine: *lays limply in his arms,gasping for air*..trying...to...breath...not...suceeding...  
  
Erik: How come the Fop...?  
  
Authoress: You -really- wanted Luciana or the Khanum?  
  
Erik: Good point. Nevermind.  
  
Authoress: Proceed.  
  
Erik: *clears his throat,hums a few bars to get in tune* I gave you my music....made your song take wing...  
  
Christine: *gasps* I...don't care...about..music...right..NOW! *choke*  
  
Raoul: *more tonsil hockey with poor Christine*  
  
Erik: *glares* Whatever. *back to singing* and now,how you've repaid me? Denied me and betray me...he was bound to love you...when he heard you- *eyes widen*HEY! QUIT THAT!  
  
Raoul: *pulls hand back before the camera sees what it was doing,Christine looks traumatized* What? I didn't do anything. *shifty eyes*  
  
Erik & Christine: ...Men.  
  
Erik: Once again,anyway..*clears throat*singgggggggg...Christine...oh...Christine...  
  
Christine: *sings* Say you'll share with me -ACK!  
  
Raoul: *grabs her and kisses her senseless again*  
  
Erik: *sighs and leans on the angel,checks a fake watch*...we're going to run over..  
  
Audience: *thinking 'Who gave Raoul viagra?'*  
  
Raoul: *yanks away,grins,licks his lips*I feel better now.  
  
Christine: *glares at him then shoves him* SING.  
  
Erik: That's my line.  
  
Christine: *glares back at Erik*YOU SHUT UP!  
  
Erik: *erks and shrinks back* sorry.  
  
Christine and a very frightened Raoul: Say you'll share with me one love one lifetime,say the word and I will follow you. Share each day with me,each night,each morning.  
  
Erik: *grins,stands up,looks nice and tall and proud* You will curse the day you did not do,all that the Phantom asked of you...!!!!!  
  
*As the end scene of Il Muto shows up, the chandelier begins to swing..slowly at first...very slowly...almost...too slowly.*  
  
Erik: *right on cue,laughing insanely...though he doesn't look very happy*GO!  
  
Chandelier: *stops swinging,dead. It stays up.*  
  
Erik: ...OOORR...not..  
  
Christine: *giggles*  
  
Raoul: *looks annoyed* You're not supposed to find him funny..  
  
Christine: Oh..yeah. I'm supposed to be..um...terrified?  
  
Raoul: *sighs* YES!  
  
Christine: Kay. AHHH! *runs around,like a chicken with it's head cut off,screaming*  
  
Erik: ..what the?  
  
Raoul: I don't know...  
  
Christine: *pauses,slides to a stop,looks up at Erik and points at Raoul* He said terrified..  
  
Erik: ...yes. Terrified. Not insane.  
  
Christine: There's a difference?  
  
Erik: ...Insane people drool more.  
  
Christine: Ewwies!  
  
Raoul: Double ewwies!  
  
Christine,Erik,Managers: *look at Raoul*  
  
Raoul: *points at Christine* It went over so well with her in another thingy...  
  
Christine: 'Cuz I'm cuter.  
  
Raoul: Are not.  
  
Christine: Are too!  
  
Erik: Yeah,she is Fop.  
  
Raoul: I'm not a Fop!  
  
Firmin: Yeah,and he's not bi sexual either..  
  
Raoul: *sweatdrops* I'm not bi! I'm not a Fop!  
  
Christine: Isn't he cute when he's in denial?  
  
Erik: ...not really...  
  
Christine: Kay.   
  
Erik: Wanna go back to my place for tea?  
  
Christine: *nods* Kay. Let's go.  
  
Erik: *hops down,grabs Christine,both vanish*  
  
Chandelier: I'm afraid of heights...why am I up here? I fall all the time and I always have someone screaming at me to go...I need therapy..  
  
Raoul: *gets shackled and abducted by the managers* Why's everyone hate me....?  
  
*******************  
  
A/n:  
  
Who thinks Raoul and the Chandelier should get together?! Sudden random thought on my part...it can't be any weirder than something someone else has come up with.... right?  
  
Buquet: Um..Authoress lady?  
  
Yes?  
  
Buquet: ..I didn't die.  
  
No need to,they ran off by themselves.  
  
Buquet: ..I get to live?!  
  
Yep. Now go find Piangi and Carlotta.  
  
Buquet: *squeals and runs off* Ubaldo! Cara! I'm coming!!!  
  
*sweatdrops* Review,people..please? 


End file.
